In the magazine business, the Back Page is where you'd find all the weird goofs that we couldn't fit in anywhere else. Some may call it "filler"; we prefer "a whole page to make terrible jokes that are tangentially related to the content of the mag".
We don't have pages on the internet, but we still love terrible jokes ā so welcome to our semi-regular feature, Back Page. Today, Ollie whips down to the travel agents in search of a well-earned break...
Welcome to NL Destinations, the number one virtual travel and tourist company in the world.*
Founded and established just the other day while our CEO was on the loo, NL Destinations has since grown into a monstrous corporation, currently serving a total of [zero] customers with an average review score of [undetermined]. Utilising over 20 minutes' worth of experience in the tourism industry, NL Destinations is at the forefront of virtual Nintendo Switch vacation resorts.
With the Summer months on the horizon, what better time to begin planning your next virtual holiday? To help you along the way, we've compiled a list of some of our favourite vacation locales from the many and various worlds on Nintendo Switch. Whatever you're looking for, we've got it all, whether it's a quaint city break or an extended rural getaway. You can absolutely, most definitely count on us to provide you with a safe and secure holiday package.**
So, sit back, relax, ignore that curious warning alarm in the aeroplane, and let's check out our top vacation picks together, shall we?
*Unproven, if not irrefutably false.
**NL Destinations takes no responsibility for your wellbeing, and cannot guarantee your safety at any of its resorts. Even the nice, sunny ones.
Rapture - Bioshock
Ready to light a fire with a snap of your finger? Rapture, founded by the esteemed Andrew Ryan, is a city like no other. Descend fathoms to discover the delights of the botanical garden of Arcadia, or gaze upon the mind-bending artwork of Sander Cohen in Fort Frolic, all the while soaking in the breathtaking views of the ocean bed itself.
After more of a thrill? Fontaine Futuristics' Plasmids offer up a variety of logic-defying enhancements such as Telekenesis, Electro Bolt, Insect Swarm, and much, much more. Explore the art deco utopia of Rapture in style, safe in the knowledge that the city's noble Big Daddies will be keeping a watchful eye out on any and all mishaps.
Disclaimer: Consume Plasmids responsibly. NL Destinations cannot be held accountable for instances of death by drowning, electrocution, crowbar, burns, or impalement by drill. And please... stay away from the Little Sisters.
Please note that some external links on this page are affiliate links, which means if you click them and make a purchase we may receive a small percentage of the sale. Please read our FTC Disclosure for more information.
The Last Resort - Luigi's Mansion 3
Truly exemplary hotels are difficult to come by these, but after you experience The Last Resort, you simply won't be able want to leave. Boasting themed floors from top to bottom, you'll experience the wondrous medieval architecture of Castle MacFrights, the quaint, modernised setting of Paranormal Productions, and the beautiful botanical paradise of the Garden Suites.
The Last Resort boasts a variety of bespoke portraits to compliment your deluxe room, including the likes of that dastardly Mario and his annoying little frien... uh, scratch that... Bespoke portraits of bunnies and fluffy kittens. And if you do happen to see any ghosts roaming about the place, don't fret, they're definitely fake and completely harmless. Honest.
[Note: The following are not permitted at The Last Resort: vacuum cleaners, Strobulbs, green goo, moustaches, smoking.]
Forgotten Crossroads - Hollow Knight
If you're someone who finds that nature's true beauty lies within the depths of our planet, then you're sure to enjoy the dark, oppressive landscape of Hallownest's Forgotten Crossroads. Teeming with deadly stalactites, numerous spike pits, and a host of vicious adorable creatures big and small, you'll want to explore every inch of this wonderful world.
Be sure to bring a map with you and update it along the way (it adds to the immersion, apparently), and keep an eye out for a delightful hot spring designed to heal both body and mind... But especially the body. We're not saying it's dangerous or anything, but just keep your wits about you.
Disclaimer: If you wind up getting hopelessly lost, refunds will, unfortunately, not be available. NL Destinations will have likely spent your money on amiibo, anyway.
The Great Plateau - Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Ah, the great outdoors. What's better than the great outdoors? The Great Plateau, that's what. Located in the heart of the magnificent kingdom of Hyrule, The Great Plateau offers views for days without any nasty Lynels or Yiga members popping up to bother you. [Note: Bokoblins and other creatures have been known to venture here; NL Destinations is not liable for injury. It is, in fact, dangerous to go alone.]
When you're done being bowled over by the stunning landscapes and picturesque local fauna, why not set up camp and cook up a few delectable meals? The Great Plateau is overflowing with local delicacies and tasty ingredients, including mushrooms, peppers, fish, and Bokoblin guts; you'll be a three-star Michelin chef in no time.
Visitors to The Great Plateau will also be gifted a fashionable Warm Doublet to take home. Just reach the highest peak without freezing to death to claim yours.
Sevastopol Station - Alien: Isolation
If you've ever wondered what lies out in space, then wonder no more. Sevastopol Station is the number one destination for fledging space explorers, boasting the very latest in Seegson technology to help you feel at home. With its 'Retrofuturist' aesthetic, immersion-enhancing flickering lights, and dusty vents, you'll be losing sleep and gaining steps as you wander the vast (se-vast-opol - chortle!) halls and tight corridors.
Seegson's friendly androids will also be on hand during your stay at Sevastopol. They can sometimes get a bit grumpy [Note: Best steer clear when their eyes turn red], but are otherwise more than willing to provide directions, snacks, and other amenities. Weyland-Yutani's got nothing on these things.
Oh, no biggy, but there's also an alien on board. Heh... It's all good though, just keep your motion tracker on hand and you'll be fine. For your comfort and convenience, NL Destinations has fitted Sevastopol Station with a wide variety of objects in which to hide should you come across the creature.
McFarlane Ranch - Red Dead Redemption
Well, howdy there, pard'ner! Welcome to the Wild West! If you're after something similar to what Ol' John Marston refers to as 'the quiet life', then why not hoof clop your way down to MacFarlane Ranch. Situated just a stone's throw away from the hustle and bustle of Armadillo, this glorious resort offers up a multitude of delightful animals to keep you company, including horses, cows, and the odd wandering coyote.
Gaze upon the beautiful night sky and spend your hard-earned dollars at the MacFarlane Store, where you can purchase a nice bottle of whiskey, local-grown vegetables, and another nice bottle of whiskey. Don't mind the odd bandit that wanders through from time to time, either; just dodge, duck, dip, dive, and dodge your way out of the incoming ropes, and you'll do alright, friend.
Now where's that whiskey?
Phendrana Drifts - Metroid Prime Remastered
Pack your hat, scarf, and arm cannon; you're heading off to the stunning resort of Phendrana Drifts! Located near the significantly warmer Magmoor Caverns (a bit too warm, if you ask us), Phendrana Drifts is the perfect getaway destination if you're finding Santa's Grotto a bit twee. You'll find next to no cosiness here, as the harsh weather conditions and deadly creatures will keep you on your toes for the duration of your stay; this one is truly for the thrill seekers!
Whether you're looking to set up camp in the Ruined Courtyard or chill with some friendly Space Pirates in the Research Core, you'll never find yourself at a loss for something to do. Just watch those Metroids floating about. If they latch onto you, just turn into a ball and drop a bomb.
What do you mean you can't turn into a ball? Who even are you?
Windmill Hills - Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze
Mmmm, feel that gentle breeze? Delightful. Yes, Windmill Hills is the perfect destination to simply kick back, relax, and enjoy the beautiful music that inexplicably fills the air around you. The stunning Tudor-inspired architecture is sure to charm, and the spinning windmill platforms are perfect for honing your athletic skills. Take that, Ninja Warrior!
You'll meet a variety of wonderful creatures during your stay at Windmill Hills, including accommodating owls, giant rats, and uh... fire-breathing pigs? Yes, apparently even Windmill Hills isn't without a peril or two. Goodness, is there any truly safe NL Destinations... destination?
Ah! Perhaps a stately home would be more to your liking?...
Spencer Mansion - Resident Evil
Holiday cottages are a thing of the past, folks. We've got something a bit more... ambitious in mind. Yes, if you're after something truly luxurious, the Spencer Mansion is really the only thing that will do.
Located in the stunning Arklay Mountains just a short hop away from Raccoon City, the Spencer Mansion offers atmosphere in spades, with perpetual lightning casting gorgeous shadows into the great hall and resplendent dining room.
We should note, of course, that there may be a few zombies roaming about the place. They're quite harmless and will, in fact, prove to be the perfect targets should you wish to pack your favourite magnum or bazooka for your trip.
Please enquire for details of our Hunter, Zombie Dog, Giant Tarantula, and Tyrant packages. Ammunition not supplied. Brown trousers available upon request.
CafƩ LeBlanc - Persona 5 Royal
Who ever said a holiday destination had to be big? Some of the best things come in small packages, you know. Take CafƩ LeBlanc, for instance. Situated within the heart of Tokyo, this quaint, independent home is run by the interminably optimistic Sojiro Sakura, who is all too willing to allow guests to sleep in the upstairs quarters, provided you're happy to clean it yourself. Bloomin' filthy, it is.
During your stay, you can expect to enjoy Sakura's famous homemade curry with a pot of delicious coffee in the morning. It's also just a short train journey away from a multitude of Japan's popular tourist sights. If you happen to notice the environment changing, however, or you spot a weird talking cat, please notify the our local representatives immediately.
Take your time here; it's worth it.
Ding Dong Dell - Ni No Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch
Right then, don't be a cry-baby bunting, get youer-self down to Ding Dong Dell for a rolicking good time. Packed with interesting locals, stunning architecture, and clear blue skies all day long, it's one of the most prosperous destinations in the Other World and the perfect location if you're after a city. Take a tour down the Ding Dong Well and fight off some nasties, or hunker down and enjoy the delights of the Cat's Cradle inn. It's youer choice! Tidy!
Ahem... Of course, if you do wind up visiting Ding Dong Dell, then you'll also have the pleasure of meeting Drippy, the Lord High Lord of the Fairies, who's taken up residence as the 'tidiest' tour guide you'll ever hope to meet. Don't let him talk too long, though, or you'll never get back home.
Luncheon Kingdom - Super Mario Odyssey
Oof... We suddenly feel quite hungry for some reason. You?
Well, you should, because the Luncheon Kingdom is the perfect place to chow down and enjoy lots and lots (and lots) of cheese. Yes, there's fromage aplenty, but that's not all, because the Luncheon Kingdom also features a giant pot of boiling soup, delicious corn on the cob, and some lovely roasted tomatoes (who may or may not attack on sight).
One thing, though... That liquid you see surrounding the resort might look like Tubby Custard, but we wouldn't recommend pulling an Augustus Gloop and diving in face-first. It never ends well. Also, please refrain from kicking cans into the giant soup pot. It's not the place for them, and frankly, it could kill off the entire indigenous population.
Do you want that on your conscience? Do you? Don't answer that.
![Super Mario Odyssey [Download Code - UK/EU]](https://images.nintendolife.com/products/25514/100x100.png)
There you have it folks, those are our picks for the best vacation locales on the Nintendo Switch. Whatever you're looking for, we hope you've found something here to suit your needs. Now we'd love to hear from you directly, so please let us know in the comments which NL Destination is at the top of your list, and if you have any other potential getaway ideas, then be sure to share those, too.
For now, safe travels. Ehehehehe.
Comments 38
Isle Delfino Mario Sunshine.
I have always wanted to go to Isle Delfino.
Some of my favourite games are in here, lovely!
Here's my pick: Just take a ship and visit the lovely Isle of Seiren (YS VIII). The rumors about ships suddenly sinking or ancient monsters that harass the people visiting the island are pure nonsense, i'd say! Enjoy the lovely tropical weather, the local sea food.. and of course the awesome view from the top, where you can also spot some ruins along the way!
My best vacation game are Go Vacation and LEGO CITY UNDERCOVER for nice view of open world style / free roaming games.
The arks from Ark: Survival Evolved. Beautiful scenery, stunning sunsets and loads of massive flesh eating dinosaurs. Running screaming in terror is a great cardio workout.
You will need to provide your own accommodation however.
That haunted hotel on Isle Delfino, but after the ghosts checked out.
OR
Any cottage with an access to a body of water in Dorfromantik.
mahi mahi resort from splatoon seems chill
@Paulo @tatanga Same thought crossed my mind. Sunshine even does this bit itself in the first cutscene.
I'd like to take a tour around some of Pokemon's safari zones or just spend a week chilling out in Skyloft, assuming they install a few more guardrails first. Bionis and Mechonis are covered in ancient ruins that would make for fascinating historical tours as well, especially if you went and found a guide old enough to remember them in their heyday.
Lol, this gave me a good laugh.
Thank you, Ollie.
Martinaise in Disco Elysium.
After chatting with some racists and scabs, you can kick back with some karaoke while off your face.
I would like to visit Yoshi's Island and of course Isle Delfino. On Yoshi's Island, I would sit on a seagull and slowly descend from the highest point, while the sun is setting. On Isle Delfino I would just use the big ferris wheel, for hours. The food must be interesting on both islands.
Eryth Sea from Xenoblade 1 would be one of mine. And the seas in the Endless Ocean games, too.
Another dream destination: Wuhu Island from Wii Sports Resort
Iāve always wanted to visit Mute City and learn if all three are on the same planet.
Apart from the already-mentioned Isle Delfino, I'd like to go on a tour to the Forgotten Land.
Hotel Delfino on Sirena Beach, the sunsets especially
No Lurelin Village from BOTW? I was sure that would be listed here.
Iāve always wanted to visit the dungeon in Moero Crystal H
Wow...some of those font choices. Papyrus? Oof!
Anyway one ticket to the Luncheon Kingdom please!
id kill to go to cafe leblanc man that place is THE vibe
I distinctly remember BotW feeling like a vacation.
@Jhena Their diets are mostly human-based small plates.
Wuhu Island in Wii Fit and Wii Fit U!
@LikelySatan
Ninty nein, they eat lots of fruits.
@Jhena those are for Yoshi to vomit up into the boiling pot of man stew. This is lore.
@LikelySatan
You are a deceiver, Satan.
Would love to go to Wuhu island, of to the hub world of Endless Ocean 2, a lovely tropical paradise
oh and nice feature, like what Amiga Power did in Wish you were here..https://theweekly.co.uk/ap2/info/Sorry_Saga.html
Wow. What a great idea for an article. Thank you Nintendo Life. Both entertaining and makes me want to play the games.
Iād most want to visit the Breath Of The Wild level because itās so pretty there and Iād like to see that Odyssey level because the colours are so neon and Iād love to go there.
@Jhena Dude I keep saying it, but nah uh! You have any idea how difficult it is to make a libel charge stick on a guy who just chilled while his only son was crucified? He is ironically incredibly tough to nail down.
I own most of the lawyers and the game is still rigged.
@LikelySatan
There is nothing rigged about it. A good deed is a good deed and I know you can do good, because you were a good guy. So do not try to manipulate the court with the judges and stop trying to give tourists, who want to relax on Yoshi's Island and Isle Delfino your unholy food.
@Jhena Yes sir I'm sorry sir an older boy told me to do it...
No noatun from Bayonetta 2? Or sparkle theater?
No Isle Delfino is surprising and that is definitely my pick in general as I'm a sucker for seaside locations both in games and real life, but among the ones listed definitely CafƩ LeBlanc for me after playing Persona 5 Royal and currently playing Strikers... definitely helps that it's within Tokyo, too!
@LikelySatan a depressed Hyrule in ruins is a vacation destination? Tbh who would wanna take a vacay to alien isolation? Spencer mansion atleast is a fancy looking mansion.... But full of horrors... The last resort and luncheon seem realistic
@Lady_rosalina for me, I had just gotten out of homelessness and was very happy to be out of the elements, in my own place. So maybe my vacation destination was actually 25 e 16th Ave, Denver CO...but with a Switch.
Coincidentally when I play most open world games I think about ones Iād like to visit/live in and which ones could legit sustain life. Lol.
Splatsville, Splatlands Please be wary of stray ink droplets. And water.
Lovely article.
I love that the average review score based on zero reviews is listed as "undetermined" since you can't divide by zero. š
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